So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize