apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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