Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
