Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
