No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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