Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
