Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
