If i come over, it means nothing
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize