the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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