The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
