Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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