That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ugly people sure do ruin things
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
