i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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