shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have aggressive nipples.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize