I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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