i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
