is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
