I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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