u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
