Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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