he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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