My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
