Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
