Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
