Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
