She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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