so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
