Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
