Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
