so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
