I heard we made out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
