I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
