Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
