my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
