dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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