It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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