Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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