I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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