That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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