They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
