I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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