the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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