Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my poor anus
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
