Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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