i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
