next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
