go do what you do best...puke behind churches
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize