He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
