Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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