sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
