they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
