You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
