Define "chronic" masturbator.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
