how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
