this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
