dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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