You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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