i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize