"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The power of my boobs compel you
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
