we're blogging at a bar
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
