This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
