if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I intend to get homeless drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize