Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
