we have pet lesbian snakes
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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