hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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