Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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