I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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