Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
