you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
