I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
