Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
