My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
