The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
