remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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