no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She bit a glass in half.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
