Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
