omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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