Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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