let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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