Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
