Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
