Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
