she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
