pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
